am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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