hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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