she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize