One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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