What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
