I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
