If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
