when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
