I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
thus making me awesome and them whores
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
