I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
