I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
