Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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