just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
