Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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