first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
