yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
