Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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