i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize