Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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