Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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