everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
