Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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