Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
