last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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