I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
