If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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