I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
