yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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