well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize