I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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