He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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