Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
