just survived the first fart of the relationship.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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