But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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