It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
