but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
