Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she peed on how many people?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize