No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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