so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize