OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
okay pat passed out under dana's car
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
