I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize