guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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