I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
did i walk over a car last night?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
sex in a hospital.. check
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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