Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
