i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
