I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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