Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
