Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
