How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
