woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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