I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize