If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think people are normalizing furries
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
