VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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