How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
