Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
