this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
