I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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