Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize