If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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