Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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